I know I probably seem negative about myself in most of my self exploration ramblings, but there are 3 versions of myself that I absolutely love:
1.the camping mom
2.the beach mom
3.the pool mom
Of course all of these things involve fun but honestly it’s a lot more than that.
When we camp we are outside. I don’t have cell phone coverage and the constant need to do or update or post are out the window. Life feels simple out there. No distractions from PLAYING with my kids, or snuggling them up by the fire. No concept of time or getting to “the next thing”. My space to take care of is small and maneagable and I have time to just sit and enjoy. I really love when I’m the camping mom.
When I’m on the beach I just feel alive! There is no need to put up toys or do laundry (bathings suits all day long). I am actually just watching my children enjoy life, no distractions. I get to listen to them talk about what’s important to them and play with them. There’s no clean up when we eat no elaborate meals, just being together and enjoying the time.
We are so blessed to be members of a local pool less than a mile away. That place has saved my sanity more than a few times. I love stepping out of my overwhelming home, grabbing something easy to eat and heading there. Instantly stepping outside lifts my moods and my boys suddenly stop fighting about every little thing. We life to go around 5 when everyone else is eating dinner. I am suddenly fully engaged with my children instead of brushing them off to check off the to do list. I am so fun. We have so much fun.
I was thinking this past weekend, while we got away to camp for a night, how much I loved who I was when I was camping or at the pool or at the beach and it occurred to me, as much as I beat myself up about how I am failing in one way or another that my children will probably remember me as the camping mom. Someone who is there to listen, who engages with them regularly and cares about what they have to say. Someone who is so content to just be, and to be thankful for simple joys.